


Fallen Petals

by ruiniverse



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, may feel too rushed i'm sorry uwu, what is angst i don't know her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:42:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23326444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruiniverse/pseuds/ruiniverse
Summary: Daffodil symbolizes regard and chivalry. It is indicative of rebirth, new beginnings, and eternal life. It also symbolizes unrequited love. A single daffodil foretells a misfortune while a bunch of daffodils indicate joy and happiness.
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Kudos: 29





	Fallen Petals

**Author's Note:**

> this is like my first ever fic in this platform and it's been awhile since i've written anything in english. so! i'm sorry if i got some grammar mistakes and other mistakes. also, this is a really rushed fic, i hope you still can enjoy it :( and i apologize if it's too fast i can't think of anything else. anyway, please enjoy! <3

Spring has come, which indicates that summer was around the corner. Yunho has always liked summer for his entire life. Being the living sunshine he is, Yunho just loves getting the warm and bright feeling summer brings him. Spring is the step he has to go through before meeting his favorite summer, yet he hates it to a certain level.

Flowers are the symbol of spring, how they start blooming once the snow began to melt and the wind no longer freezing. Flowers are beautiful creature, everyone seems to agree with this statement, Yunho does as well. Flowers are the sign that his long awaited summer is about to come. Flowers are the way people show their love. Yet Yunho hates it to a certain level.

He wasn’t the I-am-tired-of-being-single-please-give-me-a-lover type of guy by hating spring and flowers. It was true that he has been single for twenty years of his life. But, his hatred didn’t simply come from his romantic back story or bad experience. He has been living a content life being alone, not until he realized that he has _something_ within him.

Not until he realized that he has been hiding _this_ for awhile now.

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

“You sure you don't want to come with us, Yunho? This is your must watch movie, no?”

The question passed his ears like an express subway, really quick. He didn’t put his attention on the speaker either, his focus has shifted somewhere else when he recognized the uncomfortable feeling that creeped his throat. Yunho shook his head, lips curved a small smile. If anyone has good eyes, they surely can tell that Yunho turned pale. Unfortunately, the one who asked him question didn’t notice this.

“I watched it already with Mingi. You said you have been waiting for this as well, right? To go on a _movie date_ with your crush which happens to be my friend too,” Yunho chuckled with a teasing glint on his eyes. The smaller guy eventually blushed with Yunho’s words, “It’s time for you to enjoy your date with Wooyoung, San. Stop using me to be your shield, so you can have a lowkey date with him, please.”

San, who was dressed in oversized black shirt and ripped jeans threw a playful punch at Yunho. It wasn’t a secret anymore for both of them that San has a big fat crush on their friend, Wooyoung. San didn’t tell anybody, it was Yunho who found out by simply observing his antics. Yunho came out that he knew San has been crushing on Wooyoung a few moments later, he was joking about it. Now, they always make jokes out of it. Not that San has any problem with it. Yunho is his four years best friend, what can go wrong?

After gathering his belongings and putting them to his pockets, San shrugged. Then scooted closer to Yunho to give him a big hug, hand patted the taller guy’s back. “Fine, fine. I thank you for all the free services you’ve given me to be on lowkey dates with Wooyoung, puppy,” Yunho burst into a bigger laughter hearing the nickname San always use on him, “I have to go on my own way on this love journey, without the help of my best friend. Wish me luck, puppy!” Both laughed real hard until San decided to finally leave their shared flat with a joyful face.

The door got locked with a loud ‘click’ when Yunho rushed to his bathroom. His long legs folded as he sat in front of the toilet, head lowered down. Not even three seconds later, he began throwing up. There was no liquid or any sort of food in sight, like how normal people would vomit. In the toilet bowl sat a single yellow flower, floated on the clear water. Yunho hates it.

Yunho hates how that single flower is mocking him by escaping his throat. Yunho hates how he has been going through this torture for a few months after finding out that San has a crush on Wooyoung. Yunho hates how he found out the meaning of the yellow flower that always came as a piece.

 **Daffodil** symbolizes regard and chivalry. It is indicative of rebirth, new beginnings, and eternal life. It also symbolizes _unrequited love_. A single daffodil foretells a _misfortune_ while a bunch of daffodils indicate joy and happiness.

In short, a single daffodil every time he threw up has been telling him that he is having an unrequited love and that is a misfortune. Yunho hates it.

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

Yunho forgot when was exactly the first time he started vomiting daffodil. Maybe when he unintentionally connected the dots that San has a crush on Wooyoung? Maybe when he realized that he in fact is in love with his best friend? Maybe when he felt the twist in his stomach as San blabbered about how Wooyoung was so attractive and San has fallen for the said guy?

One day, at dawn, he got suffocated. It felt like his chest was so full with thorn and other strange things that he would never imagine got inside his body. As he woke up from his nightmare⸻which of course was about San and Wooyoung⸻he found himself sitting across the toilet bowl. His fist was busy hitting his chest that tightened so hard, so difficult to breathe normally. He could taste it, something different than other vomits he ever had, crawling up his throat. Until he coughed it off onto the toilet.

A piece of daffodil, slightly covered with blood.

That night, for the first time in his life, Yunho cried silently on cold tiles of his bathroom. And it was because of San, his best friend. Yunho knew he wouldn’t last long after this. Not that he wanted to go under an operation either. Loving San is a blessing and torture for him, ironically.

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

He must have known better than anybody else to stay for a night in Mingi’s house when Wooyoung will be having a sleepover with his flat mate. He should have left their flat once San’s message telling him that Wooyoung would be there for the night arrived to his inbox. Yet here he was, laying his weak body under the blanket. Door locked and light turned off, he tried his best to show San that he wasn’t home. Or at least, that was what he thought.

One earphone on his right ear, while he let his left one as it was. It was in the midst of the song that his flat’s door got unlocked. The sound was very clear to his ear, rushed and lots of bump as two people’s steps entered the room. Yunho shut his eyes off, kicking all the imaginations that filled his head. It was never a pleasant feeling for him, and it will never be.

He thought he could last for a bit more, so he stayed there after unplugging his earphone. The sound stopped, but there was never a sound of the second door got unlocked. Maybe San and Wooyoung stayed on the couch, or kitchen, or anywhere in their flat but his and San’s own room. His head got so dizzy that he doubted he could stand on his feet, hands and feet cold from getting exhausted. His chest got so full that he thought he would be throwing up more than one flower. All he could do was laughing silently to his stupidity for staying in his room instead of going to Mingi’s place. Tears began to fall down once his laughter didn’t stop. Yunho felt so stupid.

With his remaining energy, he walked limply toward the bathroom. Then he crouched down beside the toilet bowl, pale fingertips gripped helplessly on the edges. After months of throwing up daffodil, it was the first time he saw bunch of daffodils leaving his throat, with even more blood on them. That explained the fullness he felt minutes ago. His chest felt like it was ripped open, along with his throat and mouth. He couldn’t feel anything besides relief that the daffodils finally left his chest.

How, again, daffodils floated on the clear water, yet it looked like a mockery to Yunho.

Before he lost his consciousness, a smile curled up on his visage. His body lied there on his cold bathroom. This time, he was sure that it would be the end of his misery. It would be the last time he threw up to daffodil⸻daffodils, even. It would be the last time he knew that he died because of loving someone.

After months throwing up a daffodil every time, a bunch of daffodils indicate joy and happiness. Yunho chose to chase for his joy and happiness, by letting go of San⸻the love of his life, as well his best friend⸻and himself. Yunho is now filled with joy and happiness. No more throwing up to daffodil, no more petals and blood escaping his throat.

Just like how daffodil is indicative of rebirth, new beginnings, and eternal life, Yunho is starting his new beginning of eternal life. He is rebirthing into his new self. _There is no longer Jung Yunho who has unrequited love for Choi San._


End file.
